What are His Needs?

 Another Related Article: What Men Want

Daniel JohnsonWritten by: Daniel Johnson 


what men secretly want product and videoWhat are his needs? Not what does he want, but what are his needs? Deep down in their heart, what is it that they’re looking for? What are the qualities that make them want to be with someone and settle with them forever? It should be said that all men are not the same; even though they have some things in common, they also have different needs from a woman. Here are some ideas that will help you understand him better.




Are they only attracted to the physical?


In talking about what are his needs, the thought may come up that all men are looking just at the physical parts in a woman. This may be true for some men, but not for every man. Physical attraction in a woman will only buy her a little extra attention from a guy, in comparison to the long commitment in a relationship. It will not make him want to settle down with her, or necessarily make him steadily date her. Only deeper things that are instinctively driven can make him do that.


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Men need respect. In a poll, when asked if they would rather have love, or respect, men typically answered respect while the women answered love. Women usually don’t understand this because they are thinking from their perspective of wanting love over respect. This is one of the major differences in understanding men. Without knowing this; nagging, or subtle comments made from a woman, even small things such as demanding he stops to ask for directions, can come off as disrespectful in his eyes. In order for a couple to get along, understanding their needs is important so that love can be effectively communicated.





When asking what are his needs, acceptance is key. This can be especially true depending on the memories and development of childhood/teenage upbringing. A problem can occur during the relationship phase where he believes he’s expected to be someone he’s not. For example; being the provider of the relationship, or being charming all the time. Sometimes women grow up with a fantasy of prince charming in their minds that guys feel pressured in fulfilling. During the dating stage people act more charming then they really are. They also tend to spend more money and put in more time in their dates. He’ll be expected to have a certain level of masculinity around his friends. He's expected to have certain professionalism at work.   A man knows that he can’t wear a mask forever; sometimes he needs to come out for air. He’ll only want to settle with someone who will truly accept him for who he is. He needs to know that he's not expected to be superman, capable of having eternal strength. But they’re loved and accepted as a man with limited abilities.





It’s natural in a relationship that a man feels he needs to be there for his loved one, being supportive emotionally and financially. The pressure is that he has to be there for her all the time. There will come a time in any relationship where he can’t be there to support her because he’ll be the one who needs support. Men need to know that when time gets tough for them, their partner is going to be there for him, and he won’t be seen as a failure. When his role as a financial provider becomes tough is she going to hound him for not spending enough time with her, or will she set her feelings aside to support him. Supporting him in the right time can set you apart in his mind as being someone he wants, to being someone he needs.





Have you ever been misunderstood? Because of the gender differences in men and women a lot of misunderstanding can occur. The way they think, process feelings, handle emotional stress, sense of humor, all of which are completely different. Taking the time to try and understand the opposite sex can make a huge difference. Not jumping to conclusions but listening and giving him the benefit of the doubt will cause couples to understand each other better. This need can be very important especially if he felt misunderstood by his ex. When asking what are his needs, remember understanding.



Being the Hero


Where women sometimes grow up with the fantasy of getting married, men grow up with the fantasy of being the hero, the one who saves the day. This is why vulnerability in women is so alluring to them. This is also why emasculating actions can be detrimental to a relationship. For example, rather than nagging him to do the cooking, a better way of motivating him would be to say, “Hon, I feel so tired, can you do the cooking today”.   Touching on his instinctive masculinity is by far a better motivation to him than other forms.



They have a fear of failure


Men have a greater fear of failure than women. In the social and cultural world; he’ll already have expectations of providing for his family and his wife, more so than what women are expected. Understanding this pressure and communicating acceptance that even if he does fail, can be supportive and take loads of pressure off his shoulders.



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