Is He the One?
Another Related Article: How
Do I Find the Right Man
Written by: Amy Rosenthal
So you’ve been seeing a guy for some time now and the
question that’s starting to become more and more prominent in your mind, is he the one for you? Well here
are some signs to look for if you want some confirmation.
Is he putting out any red flags that you can
think of? Are you ignoring them? Check with your friends and family if they can spot any. Sometimes
you won’t be able to because love makes you blind and partial to the object of your affection. If you're
not sure, take your time and don't rush into things.
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In answering the question of is he the one for
you ask yourself, how loving is he? Does he treat you
well? Not just you but other people as well? How he treats other people is
a reflection of how he’ll eventually treat you. Meaning that if he’s
short tempered or calloused towards other people, underneath the feelings of infatuation in your relationship,
it’s a reflection of who he really is. People try harder to impress their dates and romantic interests,
which is normal, but it only lasts so long. Eventually their true colors will show.
Has he cheated in the past? Now
forgiveness is one thing, but that doesn’t mean it overrules accountability. Forgiveness has to do with the
heart and your attitude towards his past, accountability is more of the logical side of your mind that says it
happened once; it can happen again if he hasn’t truly made changes. Does he have a wondering eye? If
you’re going to invest your life and commitment towards this guy, it’s only fair that his attitude be the
same. If he has a wondering eye it’s a reflection of his heart’s desire and can be a sign that he really
doesn’t honor you. He can tell you that it’s normal, but does that make it right? If he has a
wondering eye, sit down and talk with him. Tell him you’re going to want his devotion if you’re going to go
further in the relationship. How he cherishes you is a definite answer to is he the one for
Do you love
Can you picture yourself with him
forever? Are you getting married because you want kids? Is your reason for marrying him because you’re
feeling the pressure of marriage because all your friends are getting married? It’s okay if your reasons
are mixed, but the prominent and underlying reason that you’re together should be because you love each
Good for each
When asking is he the one for you, consider if
your relationship makes you better as individuals? Do you hinder each other in aspects of your
lives? Is the relationship one sided where one of the person does all the work? Ultimately a healthy
relationship benefits both parties, and is mutual in effort.
Have the same destination in
Everybody has a purpose in life, finding that
purpose is another question. The best of couples can support each other’s dreams and encourage them to
fulfillment. Dreams and goals, especially the passionate ones shouldn’t have to be sacrificed just to make
the relationship work. If it is the only option and the relationship and your dreams are mutually
exclusive, then you need to weigh how important those dreams are to you and if he will appreciate the sacrifice
Have you talked about kids yet? Many
couples walk into a relationship unaware that their partners have completely opposite views about wanting
children. If your dreams are to have a large family with lots of children you should both have a clear
understanding of each other’s thoughts on family.
Finances are one of the 3 most fought over
arguments in relationships. Walking into a relationship when it’s financially feasible can prevent a lot of
stress and quarrels in the long run. If you’re not financially ready it doesn’t mean you have to break up,
it just means things can be better for you if you wait a bit before taking the next step.
It’s only a matter of time before two people
living close together will find something to fight about. The question is how are their conflict resolution
skills? Do they want to communicate and solve problems? And are they emotionally stable enough to do
so? Are they forgiving? This is something you should consider before taking the next step as conflicts
are bound to happen. What makes a relationship stronger is how they’re handled.
wondering, is he's the one for you?
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