Is He the One?

 Another Related Article: How Do I Find the Right Man

Amy RosenthalWritten by: Amy Rosenthal

couple on beach 1000 questions to ask bookSo you’ve been seeing a guy for some time now and the question that’s starting to become more and more prominent in your mind, is he the one for you? Well here are some signs to look for if you want some confirmation. 


Red flags

Is he putting out any red flags that you can think of? Are you ignoring them? Check with your friends and family if they can spot any. Sometimes you won’t be able to because love makes you blind and partial to the object of your affection. If you're not sure, take your time and don't rush into things.



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In answering the question of is he the one for you ask yourself, how loving is he? Does he treat you well?  Not just you but other people as well? How he treats other people is a reflection of how he’ll eventually treat you. Meaning that if he’s short tempered or calloused towards other people, underneath the feelings of infatuation in your relationship, it’s a reflection of who he really is. People try harder to impress their dates and romantic interests, which is normal, but it only lasts so long. Eventually their true colors will show.



Has he cheated in the past? Now forgiveness is one thing, but that doesn’t mean it overrules accountability. Forgiveness has to do with the heart and your attitude towards his past, accountability is more of the logical side of your mind that says it happened once; it can happen again if he hasn’t truly made changes. Does he have a wondering eye? If you’re going to invest your life and commitment towards this guy, it’s only fair that his attitude be the same. If he has a wondering eye it’s a reflection of his heart’s desire and can be a sign that he really doesn’t honor you. He can tell you that it’s normal, but does that make it right? If he has a wondering eye, sit down and talk with him. Tell him you’re going to want his devotion if you’re going to go further in the relationship. How he cherishes you is a definite answer to is he the one for you.


Do you love him?

Can you picture yourself with him forever? Are you getting married because you want kids? Is your reason for marrying him because you’re feeling the pressure of marriage because all your friends are getting married? It’s okay if your reasons are mixed, but the prominent and underlying reason that you’re together should be because you love each other.


Good for each other

When asking is he the one for you, consider if your relationship makes you better as individuals? Do you hinder each other in aspects of your lives? Is the relationship one sided where one of the person does all the work? Ultimately a healthy relationship benefits both parties, and is mutual in effort.    


Have the same destination in life

Everybody has a purpose in life, finding that purpose is another question. The best of couples can support each other’s dreams and encourage them to fulfillment. Dreams and goals, especially the passionate ones shouldn’t have to be sacrificed just to make the relationship work. If it is the only option and the relationship and your dreams are mutually exclusive, then you need to weigh how important those dreams are to you and if he will appreciate the sacrifice you’ve made?


Want kids together?

Have you talked about kids yet? Many couples walk into a relationship unaware that their partners have completely opposite views about wanting children. If your dreams are to have a large family with lots of children you should both have a clear understanding of each other’s thoughts on family.


Financially accessible

Finances are one of the 3 most fought over arguments in relationships. Walking into a relationship when it’s financially feasible can prevent a lot of stress and quarrels in the long run. If you’re not financially ready it doesn’t mean you have to break up, it just means things can be better for you if you wait a bit before taking the next step.


Conflict resolution skills

It’s only a matter of time before two people living close together will find something to fight about. The question is how are their conflict resolution skills? Do they want to communicate and solve problems? And are they emotionally stable enough to do so? Are they forgiving? This is something you should consider before taking the next step as conflicts are bound to happen. What makes a relationship stronger is how they’re handled.


1000 questions for couples Still wondering, is he's the one for you?

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