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The 6 Answers Couples Need to Save Your Marriagesave the marriage book

Alice Written by: Alice Baecker

A relationship can sometimes prove to be more difficult that what we have imagined. Getting along with the opposite sex may have started with the joy and excitement that a new relationship can bring, but maintaining that relationship can be a different story. Men will behave completely different than women and learning how to manage these differences is what makes a relationship challenging or exciting. What matters is how these problems are handled. To help save your marriage, here are some common problems couples will face in a relationship, along with the right way in dealing with them.


Men can be distant/Women need intimacy
In a relationship men can behave in a distant way. This is typical for them in every relationship. Men need to maintain their individuality in any relationship regardless of how smooth it was or wasn’t going. Men will take time out for themselves for a season. Then after some time to themselves they will come back to the relationship feeling refreshed and able to give the intimacy and deep connection that she wants.

Women will often be blindsided by their behavior and view this as a lack of love on his behalf. However this is not true and is normal in every man.

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To save your marriage, men need to remember than women need intimacy and conversation to maintain a relationship, and keeping to himself for too long will only hurt the relationship. Women have a different perception of what his individuality means to the relationship and commonly assume the worst when men start doing things by themselves.


couple holding handsThey aren’t at the same emotional level
Women will want their man to be emotional enough to form a connection with them. They also want to be able to connect on the same emotional level. Men however need to be taught to connect on an emotional level. Throughout their lives they have subconsciously had to put on a strong display for others to see, because it’s what they were expected from other men. They may also believe that women will only find them attractive if they keep showing this face, and never show their emotions or be vulnerable.

Men on the other hand need to remember that women thrive on an emotional connection. It’s the one thing that will make a man more attractive or less attractive in her eyes and they need to take advantage of that potential looking glass.
In summary, couples need to be sensitive to each other’s emotional needs.


They don’t do romantic things anymore
People can want their partner to do romantic things for them every now and then. To help them do so, be the first to do good things for them. As the saying goes, in order to get love, you have to give it first. Rather than being critical be the first to do romantic or good gestures for your loved one, and keep it up for a period of time. As a result, they will often respond in kind, as no one likes letting a good gesture go unnoticed.

Many times people in a relationship want to do romantic gestures for their partner, but the stress and busyness of life can get in the way. So to help any couple out, one person can jumpstart a romantic gesture by taking care of the planning and some of the initial details for a night out together while letting the other take care of the rest.
When asked “what do you want to do”? Don’t just respond with the classic, “I don’t know”, or “I don’t care”. By letting each other know specifics of where you want to go, or what you want to do, or even reserving the restaurant, you can initiate the romance and help save your marriage.

Oftentimes people can lack ambition, but make up for in just picking a random activity or restaurant. Don’t let your lack of ambition as a couple get in the way of life.couple viewing ocean


Men get distracted
Men can sometimes spend too much time with friends, TV, on the computer, or other hobbies. Time that women want him to spend with her. Often, women will want to just be with their man, even if they aren’t doing anything in particular. Men have trouble understanding this. In their minds if they aren’t doing a specific activity as a couple, it means that she doesn’t want to be near him, or that it’s ok for him to go watch TV.

To stop this kind of behavior, be specific in how you want to spend your time with him. Tell him that you want his undistracted attention in taking you out for coffee. Many men have trouble doing nothing and sitting still when there is no goal in mind. Using a clear objective that you want him to achieve, it can help men to focus on the time you spend together as a couple.

To save your marriage, men need to remember that doing things together as a couple is more important to her than it is to him. They can often neglect; how many things are on her mind, how much she has to do, or how hectic her day was. Just being with her man is her way of resting and connecting with him. Neglecting this time as a couple will just add more emotional stress on her and can be viewed as growing apart as a couple.


couple readingThey just want sex (no intimacy involved)
It is often a common problem in relationships that men can want sex without intimacy from women. This can leave women feeling used, or that they aren’t really loved. This problem can hurt any relationship.
Women will commonly give in to their partners demands for sex and not get the intimacy they want in a relationship. What’s a needed solution is to make a trade. By making him give you the intimacy first, then giving him what he wants, both people are left satisfied in the relationship and as a result the relationship becomes stronger. By giving him what he wants without getting what she wants it is just passively damaging the relationship. In the long run, she will just be left resenting his actions, an action that does not save your marriage.


He doesn’t listen
Getting a man to listen can sometimes be frustrating in a relationship. Some men don’t have a great attention span and can tune their partner out when they start talking.

Women connect, and more importantly feel connected when her man just listens. So many men don’t understand this and believe that her speaking to him is just her way of getting answers to problems she has.
To help him to get into the habit of listening, try dispersing your conversation in smaller parts throughout his day rather than dumping everything on him at once.

And to help him out, men should try to connect with her emotions and her story progresses. As she talks about her day; understand which emotions she felt, if they changed, what made them change, how stress she is now.
Another tip to save your marriage is in trading his listening and attention for sex. Many women may not like this idea, but this shouldn’t be thought of as sex and listening, but as two different forms of intimacy. Both are meant for a relationship to grow stronger, and both are tools for developing intimacy.


All relationships will have their rough patches that come with getting along with the opposite sex. What’s needed for relationships to grow stronger is to learn from others who have experience with the fights and problems that occur in them. By learning more about the opposite sex, along with some insights from others, any relationship can be made beautiful and lasting.


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